Lemony replies it must be Stew, but Stew's parents do not believe him. They reported that a streetlight was vandalised. When he arrives at The Lost Arms, he sees the the town's only police officers, Harvey and Mimi Mitchum, father and mother of Stew. Snicket requests a book (which is actually a secret message.) But I Cannot Meet You At The Fountain, written by an author named Sorry, (reads: Sorry, But I Cannot Meet You At The Fountain, addressed to Kit Snicket.) He then leaves and returns to The Lost Arms. His research is interrupted by Stew Mitchum, a boy who slings stones at birds. Sally Murphy was once a famous actress, when Snicket asks about local legends (mythology.) He then hints that he is looking for mythology, and he finds out that the Bombinating Beast is hinted as half horse and half shark, and they make bombinating sounds.
Theodora doesn't want to be distracted, so Snicket goes to a library and meets Dashiell Qwerty, a sub-librarian. They are staying at the Far East Suite, which is awful, and they have to share a room. They arrive at The Lost Arms, a hotel which is owned by Prosper Lost, a man who is very thin. Theodora calls him to go down, and she concludes that Moxie must be onto them.
She calls it "that old gimcrack" and Snicket becomes more confused. She asks him things, and Snicket asks if there is a statue of the Bombinating Beast. Here Snicket meets a girl named Moxie Mallahan, an amateur reporter who is the daughter of the Mallahans. When they arrive at the Mallahan Lighthouse, they pretend to be a couple mad about lighthouses and Mr. Theodora was excited at that their client had told them who the culprit was, and they decided to continue investigating. Sallis is sure that the Mallahan Family are the ones that stole the statue. She says that this statue is valued at a great price, and she asked them to promise to be discreet about the Sallis name, and to return the statue to its rightful owner.
She mentions the Bombinating Beast, a statue about the size of a milk bottle, black in color and made of very precious wood. They are invited to the Sallis Mansion, and meet their client, Mrs. Theodora Markson, to investigate the theft of a statue. In the tiny town called Stain'd-by-the-Sea, Snicket begins his apprenticeship with S. Theodora Markson, and after conversing for a bit, they drive off. He goes to the washroom, and uses a ladder (which he had prepared before) to reach a small window, and finds his chaperone parked in a green roadster.
12-year-old Lemony Snicket is going on a train ride with his "parents", when his chaperone-to-be gives him a note on where to meet her.
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